(Written while on hold just now.)

[mattlistener]

Thank you for calling OneCorp. To ensure quality, this call may be monitored, recorded, re-recorded, re-broadcast, or posted to the internet.

Please hold, while we transfer you to the next available representative. You may hear a click, followed by a brief period of silence, followed by a long period of silence. You may then hear advertisements, pointers to our web-page and automated help line, prompts to re-enter your account number and Social Security Number, replays of this message, and an occasional bar of music.

Please be patient, your call will be answered by the next business day.

Comments

[docorion.livejournal.com]

"You may also hear us folding up our chairs and leaving for the day before dealing with your call. Please use our automated system to screw up your account. And as always, we appreciate you business!"

[mattlistener.livejournal.com]

"To upgrade to our premium music-only hold line for only 25 cents a minute, press 1. To join a chat line and enjoy the company of other customers on hold for only 99 cents a minute, press 2. If you have suggestions for other ways we can profit by making you spend more time on hold, press 3."

[docorion.livejournal.com]

Damn, now I'm wheezing from laughing so hard. Excellent!

[mattlistener.livejournal.com]

*bow* Thank you!

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

Ha!

Did you see the article in the NY Times a few weeks back about the people at quality control centers who are really listening in on your calls? Sometimes they hear the CSR giving incorrect information, and find themselves in the moral dilemma of whether or not to interrupt, since they're technically only supposed to report problems after the calls are complete.